Friday, April 1, 2011

Trusting and Growing.

Well blogging world, it's been awhile...I feel it's only right to share a little about where I've been in the past few months but if it goes long I apologize.

After a really long period of questions, difficulties and discoveries I feel like I've been being led on a journey of learning what it means to be emptied. I think I prayed a lot in the past about being emptied, but this a new kind of being emptied. In the past it was always because I felt like there was something blocking me from God. Or maybe there was something I knew that I shouldn't be doing or should work on. But this time, I didn't ask for it, which always makes it harder right? :) I also watched parts of me seem to disappear that I didn't want to lose and didn't understand why I should. Parts of my personality, passions and past interests. It was hard.

But to say God has been faithful here would be the understatement of the year. God has been beyond faithful(I'm not really sure what that would be called, maybe just take what I've normally thought about God's faithfulness and multiply by 47 and that's how obvious and huge his faithful presence has been here) So in that you'd think it would be much easier to trust God in all things. But, as humans we fail sometimes, and sometimes I fail at trusting, even when I really want to.

I recently have been given a lot of opportunities to practice trusting and I think slowly but surely I am getting better. With a lot of help from others I am finally being able to not just want to trust God but really trust him. Even in the crazy circumstances or hard times. I don't feel a big sense of loss as I see myself change or be emptied.

So, maybe sometimes God empties us completely to get us out of the way of ourselves. Sometimes we might be functioning well as an individual. We might be good at things and excelling all by ourselves, and feeling pretty good in that.  But the more I'm here, living life with an amazing group of people, and trying to learn what the church does here in Croatia, I'm learning that I'm not just an individual. Maybe I lose parts of me to better become apart of a community and in turn a better member of the kingdom of God. Someone recently said the kingdom of God is found in community. It's about community. So, I'm being molded to be a part of the this community here and in the bigger picture a part of the people of God. And if that means I'm infinitely aware of more things that I'm not as good at or successful in, so long as I'm going through it with my community and growing together...okay. In that I'm trusting God knows what I will be, who I will be and where I'll end up.

 Four words: Growing up is crazy!

So, in addition to letting you know where I am, know that there is a lot going on here. We are still continuing with our school work, trying new things and spending time helping other ministries, establishing some of our own and just learning. I put up a few pictures for you. Notice the 3rd picture..just to let you know we are now proud owners of library card. (this is mostly for me who can't seem to do my homework in my apartment) And Hope and I took an art class here in Croatia. I definitely don't claim to be artistic but I will say this is probably the height of my talents. So enjoy :)

Oh, and Happy April! I always think of April as the first real month of Spring. March is a little indecisive, always back and forth between winter and spring, but April always seems to come through. So, hopefully in whatever part of the world you are in, April comes through with Spring for you too. :)


No comments:

Post a Comment